I see everyone always blogging about how to lose weight, how to be committed to a diet, and how to look this or that way. However, I haven’t seen as many posts regarding the importance of a healthy mind. If you are having one of those days where every little thing is frustrating you or bringing you further and further in your depression: it is okay as I know how exactly you feel.
This post is for you to learn new tricks of how to eventually develop a more positive mind.
Developing a positive mind is not an easy process. Heck, I even struggle with it sometimes and I consider myself to be a happy-go-lucky kind of woman. It is not just an overnight event that happens while you are sleeping. You do not just have an epiphany and “be happy” as you know.
It takes work to build back up a broken mind into a happy one. Here are 10 tips as to what I do when I am losing my cool or my sanity on a regular Sunday.
Write and Tear it Out
Yes, I write for my career regarding physical and mental health and also go to writing when my mental health is spinning out of control. What a joke right?
Except not really.
Writing was the only thing that helped me cope with hard times as an adolescent and even helps as an adult today. There is nothing more satisfying than pouring out all of your melancholy and frustrations onto an empty lined sheet of paper. You are able to fill it with whatever you want and however you want –not what anyone else wants. It’s quite therapeutic after to read it through.
Clean To Change
A lot of times people become upset with themselves having the realization that we as humans are in such little control as to what happens to us in our day-to-day lives. We attach ourselves to the ideas that we’d like then become upset when those ideas don’t follow through.
You may not be able to change the fact that Jerry does not want to go to the dance with you or how a parent feels about a significant other, however; you can change how your house looks.
Changing anything while being upset because of something you couldn’t change or be in control of has got to be one of the most self-assuring things ever. You may not be able to live life exactly how you want to but the little change you can make in life is very significant. Turn that dirty laundry into hung up clothes, folded up pants, matched socks, and stacked underwear.
Take a Breather for a Minute or Ten
There are some days where this is the only thing that can get me to snap back into reality. Baby crying more than you can deal today? Failed a test you studied hard for? Go outside of the environment you were at (preferably outside to get some Vitamin D as that helps with mood) , sit down, and breathe.
Breathe in positivity. Breathe out negativity. Repeat until you have collected your cool. It genuinely helps.
Empowering Yoga or just Yoga
Yoga is one of those activities people act as if it is very taboo and I have no idea as to why?
(If you think yoga is taboo; comment below why you think that is. No judgement here I am genuinely curious).
However, Yoga can make you hurt like crazy. To the point where it hurts to sit down in a chair to have your routine family dinner. At the same time though; there are practices that make you feel positive, confident, and empowered after. You feel as if you can conquer anything including your negative thoughts. You don’t have to be a flexible gymnast to be a yogi.
All you need is YouTube and the ability to say or type yoga then BAM you just got yourself a yoga lesson for free!
I REALLY hope I don’t come across as that person that says
“You’re being ungrateful for being upset or frustrated”.
However, when you are feeling blue and not yourself it always helps to remind yourself what you DO have. As many people would be very blessed to have what you have. When you feel you don’t have anything to be thankful about, begin to think of the essential needs that are being met. Next, your interests; sunsets, your friends, etc. It honestly helps you come to peace with what happened.
Blurt it Out to a Friend
People, (myself included), have this terrible habit of bottling up all of our feelings until we explode. It is really such a destructive habit to have. We keep things to ourselves as we feel that no one understands. However, that is true to some extent. We may not understand it completely however we can understand mutual feelings we have both felt.
Every single person who has existed (can’t speak for aliens); has in some way experienced the feelings of inadequacy.
I had a very hard time as an adolescent with being pissed off at the world. I thought that no one thought of me ever. I pushed away all of my friends and my family. It fills me with regret to say some people are still silently watching on the sidelines and that’s all they will continue to do.
However, my adolescent times were a very dark place for me. It has shown me many things when it comes to bottling your negative feelings up:
- Someone does care. It may not feel like it. Trust me when I say someone does. Heck, it could be a stranger that sees you upset and offers to pay for your coffee. I care as well.
- I’d rather people be mad at my feelings than keep them to myself as they are my feelings .I am allowed (as well as everyone else), to feel negative feelings sometimes. As it is completely normal. We cannot deny apart of us.
- People do not see mental health as important simply because of the fact they have never personally struggled with mental health in their lives. Not being able to understand something simply because you yourself haven’t went through it is totally understandable. I don’t understand the importance of sports as I have always seen them pointless. However, I don’t shame its importance or lack thereof to people that rave about the Super Bowl. That is the difference.
Eat a Whole Fruit Basket and Drink Tons of Water
Okay. You guys probably think I have lost my mind when you see this one but hear me out.
A lot of times our mental health is affected by what we eat. If you are only eating the SAD diet with barely any fruits, veggies, and water : your diet can be connected to your mental health.
Fruits and veggies have tons of vitamins , phyto-chemicals, minerals, and antioxidants that you simply cannot find in a bowl of noodles.
Sometimes, when I am feeling blue: after having tons of fruit and having some water to replenish myself; I feel better. Often times, your body could be needing something it isn’t getting.
This one especially goes out to all of the parents. When you live a life of trying to make others happy and fulfilling everyone else’s needs… It gets tiring. Don’t get me wrong, practicing selflessness is one of my most prideful traits. However, I just need five seconds to breathe alone sometimes.
Grab some essential oils diffuse them while you’re bathing in some Epsom salts. Put a bottle of water right next to you. Bring in a book or magazine to read as well. (Bonus points if you bring in an electronic device as that shows you’re ballsy).
After you get out, put coconut oil all over you. Brush your hair then your teeth. Put some makeup on if you’re into that. Then do whatever you want the rest of the day.
Being able to have a day to yourself is lovely. You don’t have to worry about kids, your husband, or pets. You just get to treat yourself to a marathon of Netflix. Which is definitely okay.
This one might shock some of you. However, I think it is perfectly normal for humans to cry or to express their frustrations. In fact, I encourage it! We live in a society today that tells you it’s not okay to be sad and to me; that couldn’t be any further from the truth.
It is okay to express negative emotions as it shows you have them. You are not “less” or “weak” when you do.
You just need to realize that it is not healthy to stay in a negative mindset for long periods of time.
Put on The Titanic and get your emotions out!!
Meditating has shown so many benefits mentally I can’t even write all the benefits or else I’ll be writing you guys another article! It has helped me to clear my mind and to become more aware of my surroundings and emotions. It has also helped me to allow things “to be” instead of forcing falsified happiness or situations to happen that are beyond my control.
People usually think of singing monks when it comes to meditating. Yes, some religions do practice meditation in their religious practice, however;you can just be having a bad day and clear your mind.
At first it is a very hard practice to do. You try to clear your mind and thoughts.
You simply live in the moment and become aware of your senses, surroundings, your body etc.
You can also have a question that you want to answer through meditation and find a way to answer that. (Everyone has their own spiritual answers they discover while practicing meditation therefore I cannot say what is one “answer” you may find) .
The breathing exercise is also considered a small version of meditation that I mentioned above.
These are simply the coping methods I have discovered work for me.
It has definitely been some trial and error in discovering coping methods for myself however I can gladly say I can calm myself down now.
I do realize these may not work for everyone and that is okay; do what works for you and I’ll do what works for me!
If you have depression or a mental disorder I suggest reaching out for help as there are usually bigger underlying problems to your sadness and frustrations.
Before I close this I want to sincerely say if any reader or client of mine ever just needs a venting buddy: I can be that person.
What works for you? What doesn’t work for you? Do you do any that I have listed? Comment below let me know what you think!